Saturday, April 23, 2011

When Life Imitates Art

COMEDY AND TRAGEDY THEATER MASK Pinback Button 1.25" Pin / Badge Drama ArtsAfter talking to my sister, I knew I had no other choice but to share it with all of you.  As a writer with a pretty good imagination, even I couldn't  make up a scene this bizarre.  I found myself laughing instead of offering her the support I knew she  needed as she continued to tell me about her day.

She’s the Assistant Manager of a national establishment.  This means she’s learned to deal with all kinds.  However, Thursday’s series of events took top billing on her list.

It started out as normal as any other day until one customer came up to the drive-thru and retrieved his order only to pull forward a few feet and shout back, “By the way, I hit your wall.”  My sister looked out the window at his truck and then back down the drive-thru.  It was littered with cinder blocks. 

She was shocked by the arrogance of the man who drove off.  He’d left her with no other option but to call the police, and pick up the blocks herself.  A traffic jam was now forming. 

As she crossed through the dining room, she could smell smoke.  Quickly looking around it was easy to locate the culprit.  A dingy looking man had casually settled himself down and lit up a cigarette.  He’d never approached the counter to order anything.  He just sat there puffing away.  What the #$@% ? She was thinking as she approached him. 

She politely told the man there was no smoking inside the building.  He looked quite confused and wanted to know, “Since when?”  With her voice a few octaves higher than normal she explained, “Smoking was banned about a decade ago.”  Stoner guy gave her one long last look before he left as quietly as he came in.

She finally set about to move the cinder blocks out of the way all by herself.  She was determined to get back to business as usual.  In doing so, a customer rolls in and asks her what’s happened.  When she explains, he tells her he’s seen the exact truck a couple miles down the road with two blown tires.

She hurries in to call the police with the new information.  Her head is spinning with the day she’s having.  Just when she thinks it can’t get any worse, in walks two guys with a checklist.  They explain it’s time for her annual inspection of equipment. 

Now she begins to wonder if she’s getting Punked.  No, these guys are real, and she needs to show them each piece of equipment.  With her nerves frazzled already, it takes every ounce of patience she can muster to be civil.

Close on their heels is the company’s own insurance agent.  I guess they figure it’s the two birds, one stone theory.  When the insurance agent hears about the accident, of course he needs to go inspect the damage. Isn’t having my sister count the bricks going a little bit far?

Upon their return back inside, the police have now joined the party.  They inform her the suspect’s vehicle was eventually abandoned.  It’s hard to drive for too long with two flat tires.  He was eventually apprehended.  My sister’s asked to give her own statement, and she’s handed an accident report.  It’s now the cop's turn to go visit the scene of the crime.  When he returns, he asks my sister if she’s filled out the report yet.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?”  She points to the three guests behind the counter and asks if she can drop it off tomorrow.  The officer smiles and asks her who moved all the blocks.  She tells him she did, all twenty of them.  He’s impressed and says tomorrow will be soon enough.

- Heather


  1. Oh my, quite a day!!! Which sister was that? Tell Amanda I miss her on FB. :)

  2. She told me the only way I could write about her is if she stayed anonymous. And since I have four sisters... :)